No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
