I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
PANTIES FOUND
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