party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
