haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
