yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
