It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
