tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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