Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
