i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
