I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
