Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
its liver damage thursday
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
