he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
