Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The uberlube is also flammable
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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