sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize