I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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