just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
