You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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