went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do vagina's smell?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
