Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
