Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
