I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
