We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
