2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
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