She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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