Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
