so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
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I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
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What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's