She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems