Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
