I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.