i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
