I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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