sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
