OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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