matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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