I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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