I puked a lego.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
