My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
