There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
one might say we're banned from that church
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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