I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you inspire me to be a worse person
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
