His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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