So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
