just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
