I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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