I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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