How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
