Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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