I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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