That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
