lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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