She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
