Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
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Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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