I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
