Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
