so that wasnt chicken after all
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
