Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
