I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You ruined the universe
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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