I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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