I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
