...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
the raccoons are back...
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