i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
