I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
