it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
