I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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