just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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