awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you will always have a special place in my vag
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
