sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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