doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
